there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I pour the whiskey from now on
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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