These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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