he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I did not marry a roomba.
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