this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
