shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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