I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize