can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
