I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Drake has all the answers
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
