Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
