Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
