i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize