So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
