I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
That reminds me...we need to get swords
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Randomize
