dude i'm inner monologue high
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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