So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
