Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
