i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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