bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
