Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
The dick lei will go down in squad history
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
