I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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