lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
