never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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