You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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