Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
