The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Small penises have feelings too.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
