Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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