is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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