Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize