He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
