We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
