At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
