got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
