hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
