she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Randomize
