sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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