Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
