Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Alive.
So much puke
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
