U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I think my moral compass just broke
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
