I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
