Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
