I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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