Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
