we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
