clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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