That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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