You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
im having a threesome with these popsicles
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
