Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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