hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize