Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
