dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
