Just cropdusted the office
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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