Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize