Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
