My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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