My first STD was from a foam party
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
