so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
