I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
