Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I feel like abortions should bother me more
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize