Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
