apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
