Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i came on her dog
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
