Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Randomize
