I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize