i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
