How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
