The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
